thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
