Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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