The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
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I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
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She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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