You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
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we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
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I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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