Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
