I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize