I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
