The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
