And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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