omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?