He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
