My friends, they love my intelligence
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
