If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
