I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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