Please, let me fuck your mom
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
