At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
How naked do you want me to be?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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