dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I have aggressive nipples.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
