I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
bring money and cleavage
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.