He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
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sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
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Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"