I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma