The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
