There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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