Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
