i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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