we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
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Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
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I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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