Already got asked if we're dating
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
