FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You need Xanax blowdarts
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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