May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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