We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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