What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
