Your tits are I can't wait for
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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