i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize