dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
