Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
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