what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
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You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
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Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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