I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
