Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize