Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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