Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I want to be your penis for a week.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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