i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
