When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize