I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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