you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
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