My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
