So gin and wine won't be happening again
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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