Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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