ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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