I cockslap morals
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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