wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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