I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
