and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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