But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
