He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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