No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
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Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
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Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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