so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
