I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
