just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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