Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
