I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
