It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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